boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize