i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
