I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
