Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
