I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I want to make a zoo with you.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
