I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
