im so drunk with asians
where?
always
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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