i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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