i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
