i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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