Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
