Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
