i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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