Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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