Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
