I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
