is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
