Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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