we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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