don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
