Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
