Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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