STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
