I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
