I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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