I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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