I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Randomize
