i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
