ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
