Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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