Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
