you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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