How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize