it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
