mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...