Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.

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  (917): I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home. http://tfl.nu/9xms
  Replies (13) Good night (5840) Bad night (958)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.

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  (541): New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss. http://tfl.nu/x43e
  Replies (11) Good night (4226) Bad night (883)
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  (415): View more from California

  sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.

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  (415): sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you. http://tfl.nu/c5wc
  Replies (24) Good night (5190) Bad night (1258)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.

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  (412): I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket. http://tfl.nu/hou4
  Replies (7) Good night (1445) Bad night (1110)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.

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  (757): I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass. http://tfl.nu/p1y3
  Replies (19) Good night (2884) Bad night (635)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.

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  (612): There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/g344
  Replies (12) Good night (838) Bad night (1010)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.

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  (516): He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever. http://tfl.nu/8pla
  Replies (4) Good night (2082) Bad night (496)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.

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  (410): I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex. http://tfl.nu/2gjc
  Replies (7) Good night (1232) Bad night (420)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.

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  (817): Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud. http://tfl.nu/pgi9
  Replies (20) Good night (2656) Bad night (678)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.

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  (970): I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat. http://tfl.nu/w7x2
  Replies (8) Good night (1151) Bad night (473)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.

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  (815): It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend. http://tfl.nu/9c86
  Replies (3) Good night (574) Bad night (339)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?

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  (480): Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me? (1-480): Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out? http://tfl.nu/ggfq
  Replies (1) Good night (616) Bad night (466)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"

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  (573): On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods" http://tfl.nu/38wh
  Replies (4) Good night (535) Bad night (268)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.

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  (908): I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work. http://tfl.nu/8nqq
  Replies (3) Good night (613) Bad night (233)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.

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  (320): Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/w1jr
  Replies (3) Good night (285) Bad night (626)

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