The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.