He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.