Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign

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  (714): OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign http://tfl.nu/7urn
  Replies (9) Good night (2010) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.

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  (502): I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off. http://tfl.nu/n96o
  Replies (30) Good night (5062) Bad night (1409)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.

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  (307): mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her. http://tfl.nu/aq8k
  Replies (11) Good night (6591) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.

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  (570): Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today. http://tfl.nu/c736
  Replies (5) Good night (1014) Bad night (3226)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.

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  (404): My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck. http://tfl.nu/0ivr
  Replies (11) Good night (4725) Bad night (1290)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.

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  (215): Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea. http://tfl.nu/cv1y
  Replies (13) Good night (2085) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.

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  (850): My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper. http://tfl.nu/6jx2
  Replies (15) Good night (2926) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass

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  (845): I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass http://tfl.nu/26l8
  Replies (8) Good night (1879) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here

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  (401): Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here http://tfl.nu/3omi
  Replies (2) Good night (1160) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.

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  (443): Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good. (410): The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky. http://tfl.nu/y3f5
  Replies (10) Good night (922) Bad night (2026)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!

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  (978): I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it! http://tfl.nu/x2pk
  Replies (9) Good night (1450) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have

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  (970): I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have http://tfl.nu/0tm9
  Replies (7) Good night (1379) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?

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  (516): Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep? http://tfl.nu/76br
  Replies (7) Good night (963) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward

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  (248): Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward http://tfl.nu/e7xn
  Replies (4) Good night (623) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'

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  (615): Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid' http://tfl.nu/cmth
  Replies (6) Good night (578) Bad night (413)

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