TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.