He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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