I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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