dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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