i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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