How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
