If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize