you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I smell like Dick and happiness
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
His nipple licking is glorious
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