We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize