you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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