His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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