so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
