I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
