how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
