Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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