It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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