Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
