Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
