I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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