So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We left the knife in your bed.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
