Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
