New invention idea: vibrating tampons
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
