Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
