Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
