how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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