***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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