Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I wish my penis had an off switch
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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