In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
